OrdinarySGKid: The Right Friends

Today, I’d like to talk about a certain kind of ‘friend’ whom I think we are all probably familiar with. Well, familiar with certain attributes, I suppose – Certain faults, to put it more frankly. Sometimes, we believe too much in the belief that having a friend is always better than having an enemy. It can’t be denied that there is truth in that, of course. However, this belief sometimes causes us to go too out of our way to keep a friend when the alternative would not only be easier, but also incredibly self-beneficial. Not every friend is worth keeping – Yes, it’s never a bad thing to have some contacts in this world. However, there are just some times when you simply just have to let go.

This friend that I’m (personally) talking about is one whom we all find a little too hard to let go. A friend like this is usually fun, adventurous and fascinating. They go through life with an almost infectious, overly carefree kind of demeanor – and it can sometimes feel like they just simply haven’t got a single care in the world. It’s probably hard not to be drawn to them, especially because being with them presses an escape from so many comfort zones and helps to distract from those big problems for just a little while. However, just like their own problems, these ‘friends’ will quickly lose any interest in you as a person. They will often inconvenience you, they will often let you down, and they will seldom be apologetic over anything they have done. They often possess a narcissistic nature, and they unconsciously (or otherwise) make others feel inadequate or less important than they are. Furthermore, I am led to believe from experience that they would also probably never hesitate about ‘stabbing you in the back’ when they feel like doing so would benefit them in some way. Like me, you might know all about these traits they possess, and if so, you probably pretend not to see them, or you even try to overlook them completely.

Holding on to this friendship might seem natural – it might even seem like the only thing you should do. It might be argued that this friend probably has a back-story of his own – maybe it just isn’t right to penalize them for what they have become. But I’d like to break it to you right now – you can just never count on them where it counts. Is that really the kind of friend we should keep around? You might continuously tolerate how they take advantage of you and disregard your feelings, but soon this may result in negative consequences and self-harming anger that would otherwise be easy to avoid.

Sometimes, there’s simply nothing you can do but let go. You may feel like you are giving up on something good, like you are almost giving up a part of you that makes you a better person. However, I personally believe that once all ties have been severed with this friend, there can only be a sense of relief and positivity in the end. Yes, there will initially be some regret, and yes, there will be sadness, but holding on to something that will inevitably hurt you is like willingly throwing yourself onto the train tracks. Don’t ever lose sight of yourself – you can still be whatever you want even without their ‘help’. Find friends who will support you and let you take some of the credit you deserve once in a while. You don’t have to sever all your ties with a bad seed, but you should never label them as your priorities either. Sometimes, all that does is hold you back from something greater.

I realize that this article is probably a little more personal than any of my other articles. So I guess you can take it from me – giving up on a friend may seem like the hardest and stupidest thing you could do, but sometimes you have to take out the weeds before the flowers can grow stronger. I hope that I haven’t bored you or offended you in any way. Please share with my any thoughts you might have at OrdinarySGKid@hotmail.com or at @NatKathXo. J

Thank you so much for your time, dear reader!

And as a promise, here are some pictures of me and some of my friends whom have helped me realize the difference between a good friend and a lousy one. Here are a few of my Right Friends, and I hope that you have some of your own too!