A Guide to Happiness

"The Dream"

People duck in and out of my life everyday – friends, family, random strangers – honestly, it’s never hard for me to pick out the ones that really have it all together. There exists people that look success and accomplishment in the eye every day but are still unable to derive happiness - and then there are careless fools whom are perfectly able to live like the world is simply an appetizer placed on their silver platter. 

Therefore, what separates the happy from the sad? How do you go about turning that frown upside-down?

Unfortunately, I can’t give you all the answers to that question, though I’ll certainly try. Thus, allow me to share with you six simple tips that could maybe steer you towards the right path. I honestly hope that they may help you get there in some way.

1. Get rid of your excess Baggage

Do you have a Toxic Friend?

It’s simple – remove any and every interference from your life. If there’s somebody in your life that constricts you or makes you feel less amazing than you really are, then, by all means, don’t ever hesitate to simply remove them from your life! Yes, I’m sure that you can probably come up with a multitude of reasons why you shouldn’t give up on that person yourself, because, granted, ‘having a friend is always better than having an enemy’ – well, who said that you had to kick them to a curb and throw paint at them? All you have to do is focus on the other aspects of your life that don’t include said person and magnify them – this will trigger a minimization and perhaps total abhorrence of the ‘problem’ without the horror of a whitened head of hair! Likewise, this can be applied to any situation or obligation – if it brings you more harm then good, just stop grasping at reasons to keep them closer to you. Sometimes, knowing when to give up is the strongest and most respectable move one can make.

Here you go - It's really simple!

2. Stop with the comparisons

It’s ridiculously easy for one to glance around and to instantly bubble down into a hot mess of self-pity and dismay. Honestly, there’s always going to be somebody that seems friendlier than you, or more talented or better looking and so on. It’s all right to take note of and/or emulate somebody else’s good points, but it simply isn’t worth anybody’s time to allow jealousy to seep in. You don’t have to feel anything akin to disappointment simply because you don’t match up to somebody else’s expectations. Honestly, you’re just your own person and the frank reality is that you just don’t possess the same skill sets or limitations as the next person – you know what they say, a person’s bane might just be another’s passion. The only person that you should ever compare yourself to is the ‘you’ a day ago, a month ago or a year ago and so on. That’s the growth that really matters to anybody.

3. ‘Boredom’ should NOT exist in your dictionary!

They don't call him Productive Joe for a reason.

If you can sit down and think to yourself - “I’m bored”… well, then you aren’t living correctly. I’m not asking you to pack your schedules to the brim or anything – you need some alone time to rest and recuperate just like every other person – but that’s just it. Time that you put aside to do nothing is meant to be ‘rest time’ – if it starts to feel more like a black hole of inertia rather than some much-deserved space, then things have gone past ‘rest time’ and have seriously ended up in the productivity graveyard. In such cases, it could really be worth the effort to start sitting up, heading out of that room and doing something. Trust me, the feeling of actually accomplishing something is easily leagues more meaningful than any time that you put aside to sit and waste away – just make sure that you are able to first separate ‘rest’ from ‘boredom’ before you start driving yourself into the ground.

4. Stop giving up before you even start

Have you ever gotten yourself into a situation where you are suddenly faced with the dilemma of deciding whether or not to go ahead with something or to simply stick securely in your comfort zone? It’s always easy to turn anything down and to stay where it seems safest and most comfortable. However – you just have to keep in mind a very simple phrase: ‘You never regret what you did, only what you didn’t do’. I think that it’s a saying that is absolutely true and relatable to everybody – I mean, even if you pluck up the courage and things don’t go as planned, at least you’d know that you had the strength to go ahead with it in the first place. I know that it’s hard and it doesn’t seem entirely pleasant at times, but there’s never really a ‘limit’ to what we can do. These limitations are placed in our own minds, and nobody can help you to break them if you don’t even give yourself a chance. Just trust me – I know that you have it in you because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t even have bothered to start with this article in the first place.

5. The world really owes you nothing

It’s true that your family will probably be there for you through thick and thin, but somebody else’s efforts can only get you so far. If you make a mistake, don’t push the blame to anybody else and continue to stubbornly hold on to your own ‘exclusiveness’. Nobody owes you anything, or you’ll have to understand sooner or later that people usually deliver below the personal expectations that you place on them. The sooner that you start to understand that and try to take responsibility for your own attempts or failures, the faster that you can grow as a person and be rid of all the hatred or disappointment.

6. Everything and anything can be positive

Here’s a tricky one for some to attempt – just stop complaining! Every time that you open your mouth to complain, your mind becomes that much more negative and the unpleasant aspects of the situation only becomes that much more maximized. To add on to that, the person that you’re ‘sharing the burden with’ probably isn’t really enjoying the heartfelt overload either, and it certainly isn’t going to help improve the person’s impression of you. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to let off a little steam sometimes and to get your problems off your chest – it’s healthy, and it’s natural. However, refrain from doing it excessively and always try to find the silver lining in the dark raincloud – things are never as bad as they seem to be in your head. I probably don’t have to go too much into the ‘half-empty, half-full cup’ scenario, but it can’t be denied that the meaning behind it is truly profound. Think happier and you’ll be happier – it’s really as simple as that!

A gift from me to you!

Well, I certainly hope that these tips mean something to you or at least make some bit of sense. I would love to hear your views on the topic either at @NatKathXo (on twitter) or at OrdinarySGKid@hotmail.com J. I honestly mean no disrespect and it would be amazing if this has helped you or has remained relatable in any way. Thank you so much for your time!

Credits: First pic: civilsociety.co.uk Second pic: dirtyandthirty.com Third pic: psychologytoday.com Fourth pic: schmuckonmyshirt.blogspot.com