How To Tell If You REALLY Want A Relationship!

A lot of us find ourselves in the hailstorm of relationships everywhere. Watching our close friends (and everybody else for that matter) get themselves into seemingly perfect unions, we find ourselves in repetitive spirals of self-doubt and insecurity. It thus too often becomes a concern that, when the opportunity comes knocking, we would reserve no right mind, or luxury, to turn the other party down.

What would make it the right decision to enter into a serious relationship now, and what would separate it from something made entirely out of loneliness? Here are a couple of points to mull over in the meantime.


1. The Motive

When you're thinking about forming any kind of relationship with anybody, it is important to clearly understand the 'whys', or the drive, behind your ultimate decision. 

Do you want the guy or girl at hand, or do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend in general? 

Are you doing this to prove a point to somebody? Are you doing this to get over somebody else?

When Jensen Ackles thinks

Think long and hard about it. Everybody knows that a relationship takes two hands to clap, so if one party is really doing this for his or herself then everybody involved would be hurt in the long run. 

Take a step back to evaluate the priorities. It is alright to be unprepared for commitment. Treat yourself right, and give yourself the necessary time to adjust. The worst thing to do is to force yourself to be or do something that you just aren't comfortable with, especially if you simply do not want to disappoint the other person. 

Believe me, people will understand 'waiting' a lot more than the heartbreak that will come from rushing into something you are not genuinely ready for.

2. Do you feel the urge to change anything about your partner? 

"He's so loud, but that's okay because it'd just have to change once he gets together with me."

Getting into a serious relationship with a mentality like that is poisonous. You have to like him or her for who they are, not what they could be. Know clearly what you are getting into and decide if you are truly okay with them as a person, and as a life-long partner, because once you do, it is no longer your place to leave the person as and when you feel like it.

"Grease - Sandy's transformation"

3. The 'Potentials' you have now. 

Well, remember that getting into a steady relationship cuts off all other opportunities in the field for both of you.

This point of consideration sounds a little mean, (and, frankly, narcissistic) but let's admit it - it does usually affect how one feels about any relationship. And if it affects one a little too much, it could also just mean that the other party at hand simply isn't the one that will be truly wanted in the long run. 

Do not pick anybody because they are 'the next best thing'. This isn't fair to them, no matter how much they seem to like you anyway, and it certainly isn't fair to yourself.

To quote a monologue from Emma Morley's segment in 'One Day':

'I love him, she thought, I'm just not in love with him and also I don't love him. I've tried, I've strained to love him but I can't. I am building a life with a man I don't love, and I don't know what to do about it.'

Emma Morley & Ian Whitehead

This is one of the worst situations anybody could ever land themselves in. There's always that phrase, to 'be with somebody that loves you more than you love them', but is that really what everybody should do with their lives? To settle down because, well, what are the chances you would find somebody you care about, as much as they do you?

As they say, if one party is able to fall in love with two different people, then it would always be the safer option to pick the second one. If you were in love with the first, then you would never have other, and this is almost always true.

Know this and handle it well, unless you simply plan on having an 'open relationship' at the point of life at hand. But remember that this is really only fair if the other parties feel the same way!

4. Are you using the relationship to validate yourself?

Security.

We find ourselves looking for ways to validate our self worth and importance many times in our lives. 

Sometimes, that competitive gene kicks in, and that nasty little thought just gets under your skin. 

"How is it possible for her to have someone while I don't?" 

If a thought like that is the sole drive to getting into the relationship then, well, don't.

New Girl's Jessica White wisdom.

5. Space on your Plate. 

A relationship is going to mean some texting, meet-ups and genuine relationship-y stuff. You can't go into a relationship expecting him or her to give you 'space' all the time because that would just defeat the purpose of it.

If you are about to undergo a major career upheaval, or enter a particularly stressful time loaded with tests and extra curricular commitments, it might be wise to think carefully about the pro's and con's here.

Yes, the other party would undoubtedly have to be able to be there for you at the down points in your life, but is a trying period really the best time to start a relationship?

Sometimes, stretching yourself too thin to please other people can do nasty things to your subconscious. Sometimes it might even become an unfortunate belief that maybe they're the reason you're feeling so worn out too.

Give yourself the slack that you require. If the relationship stands to give you more stress than relief, it might not be the right way or time to start barreling right into it.

6. What do your friends/ family think? Can you honestly withstand their influence?

We try not to admit it to ourselves, but in all honesty: the opinions of our close friends and family (and even enemies) definitely have an impact on how we think. 

Of course, certain people might be immune to this totally, and might possess an iron will and whatnot. But how many times can an average person hear negative affirmation before they start to doubt themselves, and the person that they are with?

It is not a measure of mettle, it just happens to be an unfortunate reality of thought. And plus, sometimes it is probably worth admitting to ourselves that our family and friends should usually only have our best interests at heart.

7. The mentality regarding general attraction.

Let's be honest here. Really honest. 

Are you the type of guy or girl that goes crazy obsessive about an attractive person, and then immediately lose interest after a couple of weeks/ months? Are you usually in love with at least four people at the same time?

Infatuation is always all-consuming and delightful, but it just simply won't be enough to sustain a healthy, long-term relationship.

8. The first priority.

This is the time to shift through delusions and reality. When she's with you, is her phone perpetually in her hands? Does she then take an eternity to reply one of your texts when she's 'hanging' with another friend?

This does not usually happen if you're the first on his or her list. To be in a relationship is to be in each other's top priority lists. To do otherwise would be shortchanging one, or even both parties.

9. Can you handle his or her social life, outside of you?

If your partner is a generally popular person, he or she is definitely going to have some 'potentials' in their friend zone. These people obviously mean nothing to them (in that way), because they're willing to go into this with you now, but how capable are you at stomaching the very-human suspicion and jealousy?

Popularity means that your other half is going to have a bunch of friends of the other sex. Even more than average. Are you going to be able to handle that?

Get your attitude in check before you go into it. You can't make it final, and then demand he or she to stop mixing with everybody else in their life. Bring it up beforehand if you must, but never make the other person feel cornered, or worse - obligated.

10. Is he or she even serious about it?

Lastly, we arrive at the singular, most important variable of this whole conversation.

If he or she happens to be the type that is always blowing hot and cold, and being downright indecisive all the time, it just might not be a good idea to get into a steady relationship with them. 

Do not allow your affections to be a waste of time and effort on both ends. Ascertain the other person's perception, and tread the clearer waters carefully. 

At the end of the day, you need to protect yourself as well, and rushing into anything without knowing how the other feels about it is a lot like emotional suicide.

"One Day", falling for your best friend.

In all honesty, getting into a relationship is simple. Keep it old-school. There shouldn't be any open-relationships or unpleasantness of that sort in a real relationship. 

Be the best friend for them that you would want for yourself, and leave enough breathing room for the both of you to miss each other from time to time. Keep up your own social circle outside of him or her, and never be the one to stay if you always feel like the second option.

All the best, and thank you for your time! :)

Photo credits: flix66.com, tvrecappersanonymous.wordpress.com, visualhollywood.com, bdue.com, queteko.com, miii.net, oischieghe.wordpress.com, http://replygif.net/311

'Meeting of The 7 Deadly Sins' - Short Story By Natasha Katherine Low

[I would like to start off by saying that the names (Lucifer, Belphegor, Asmodeus, Amon, Beelzebub, Leviathan, Mammon) used in this short story aren't thought up just to sound complicated.
They actually happen to be the designations given to the deadly sins we've all heard of (if research proves accurate), and it was a lot of fun giving these names the (pretentious) breath of life. You could try reading up on them and getting to know more about each of their niche specializations of destruction. It's all very interesting, trust me - if you're free enough to give it a go!] 

And for those that might be lost, the seven deadly sins are 'Pride (Lucifer), Sloth (Belphegor), Lust (Asmodeus), Wrath (Amon), Gluttony (Beelzebub), Envy (Leviathan, the youngest) and Greed (Mammon)' respectively. You can read more about them at Seven Deadly Sins if you want to. Enjoy!

//

A party of this magnitude is fairly uncommon in this day and age.

Lucifer the Great (self-proclaimed) presides over the household as the eldest son, and the entity with the greatest influence on mankind. He has been the acting guardian of the household for thirteen centuries up to date, and has always been, and henceforth forever will be, charged with the necessary responsibility of clearing up all domestic-related messes.

It was an unfortunate truth that the legendary family never seemed able to get along with each other. Even if they did all happen to thrive in the same line of work. 

The situation had gotten especially worse for the lot of them the moment they had found themselves ridiculously capable of corroding as many hearts as they pleased. In this new generation, they were children too easily prone to running rampant, too unable to show any kind of restraint.

Lucifer had taken to scrutinizing their work from where he always sat - on his high horse -  and it was clear as day to him that neither of his younger siblings could ever hope to near his level of inane perfection. He made it a point to never intervene in their mischief - although he did, however, have to exile his youngest brother, Leviathan, one decade ago, when the good-for-nothing louse actually attempted to steal his glorious crown.

As you might expect, family gatherings were thus few and in-between in the household. In fact, the last time they had all been in the same room together was an eon ago, back when Lucifer had fallen from his mansion of feathers and diamonds. 

The siblings had rallied too many lost causes across the centuries, and there was almost too much misery for any one of them to savor in this day and age. Taking time out of their busy schedules to bicker amongst themselves was a luxury none of them wanted to indulge in.

Unfortunately, the time had quickly come for their Milleniumth anniversary. At least, that was what it was in name, and very grand-sounding it did sound. But in all honesty, Lucifer had simply had enough of his solitude, and had made plans to ensure that his siblings came back for once.

"How have you been, brother? How is your work under the scorching Eastern sun?" Asmodeus' voice rang out agaisnt the flawless diamond cutlery, low-pitched and feline, filtering silkily off Lucifer's beautiful glass staircase. She was clad tightly in a beautiful black dress, dipping low and as revealing as always. Her smile was genuinely blinding, as it always was, her eyelashes long and alluring, protruding above the captivating eyes that were painted the shades of every beautiful thing on the Earth.

Asmodeus was the only female in the family, the prized jewel, the glorious counterpart of their nonexistent mother. She was cherished deeply by all her brothers, even Lucifer himself, and even her youngest brother, amidst his disdained jealousy. She loved them all just as much, maybe inappropriately so, and genuinely feared the day that they would notice her less-than-sisterly advances. Yet, it was not her fault that she had been saddled to such fine specimen as kin.

Asmodeus had never given up on a conquest for love, no matter how short, or how wrong it might seem. It was a trait, an obstinacy, of hers that simply couldn't be compromised, never mind the fact that the other party shared her blood in their veins. On the bright side, Asmodeus was quickly becoming immensely popular in the hearts of numerous men, so she had that, at least, to help curb her ever-increasing desperation.

"They've barely started scraping the surface. I tell them to speed things up on a daily basis, but I suppose you just can't expect too much from the inferior species," Amon rumbled bitterly. His ringed finger was wrapped tightly around his golden cobra scepter in a show of intense impatience, the edges of his eyes pulling down in his obvious discomfort.

Unlike his other siblings, Amon had pupils that were marked black, through and through. The emptiness of them mirrored the fury and anger that he always seemed to have, toiling hotly inside him. He hoped that the perpetual late-comer - his second youngest brother, Belphegor - would make his appearance soon, or he could never hope to make it through the night, such was the magnitude of his suppressed anger.

"The food is looking good," Beelzebub boomed jovially, announcing his entrance with a very enthusiastic bow. He squeezed his way expertly between his siblings, and lightly prised their champagne glasses from their hands. "I'll finish this up, if the both of you don't mind," he told them cheerfully.

"If you'd only turn that mindset to actual monetary gain... You'd find yourself a lot better off, brother," Mammon drawled acidly. Mammon's hair was slicked back attractively, although it did little to compliment his skinny, and, frankly, lanky figure. Mammon was eyeing Beelzebub's dirty tuxedo in absolute disdain.

He and Beelzebub had been the best of friends once. Their interests were similar, you see, and it was obvious that both never believed they had enough of what they wanted. But their actions had quickly unearthed a very obvious flaw in similarity. 

Beelzebub was satisfied consuming anything, as long as everything he touched led to waste. Mammon, on the other hand, was never done in his pursuit for actual material possessions. He happened to take great pride in lying and cheating to get what he wanted.

Call it a lack of drive, perhaps. Mammon had soon lost what respect he had had for his gigantic brother. He'd dropped the smaller game like a hot potato and had gone on to successfully seduce the whims of the largest corporations known to man.

Beelzebub sighed patiently. He had never quite understood why his younger brother had turned out so unhappy. They'd been on good terms, once upon a time. He hadn't been able to influence Mammon the way he wanted to, but at least Beelzebub himself remained perfectly ecstatic frolicking along the streets of the middle incomers.

"I see our brother has gotten himself a vaguely attractive house to live in." The siblings were genuinely surprised to see Leviathan swarm his way through the doors, wrapped grandly in the finest fabric known to man. His tone was bitter, and tinged green with envy as he glanced about him at the glorious abode.

"You're here," Asmodeus raised an eyebrow at him uncertainly. Leviathan's emerald-green eyes flashed once, the side of his mouth pulling up unpleasantly.

"Greetings, sister. I see you still have yourself some of those ugly diamond trinkets," he smirked quickly, his gaze resting lightly on her jewelry.

"Is it a fight that you're looking for?" Amon piped up sleazily. His eyes were sparkling with an abrupt excitement.

"I'm here," Belphegor announced slowly. The rest of the siblings were momentarily sidetracked. Every one of them took in his disheveled form and un-groomed hair with varying levels of disgust.

"You made it," Lucifer called out grandly. His younger siblings froze at the sound of his voice. They straightened unconsciously and turned to look at where he stood on the head of the staircase, triumph in his eyes. Lucifer was dressed up in his finest, spotless white suit. His luxurious blonde hair was perfectly flawless and his face appeared bright and effortlessly flawless.

"Brother," Asmodeus breathed throatily. Lucifer fixed her with a triumphant grin, raising his arms up in an elaborate show of welcome. 

"It's been too long since I'd last seen you, my kin," Lucifer announced. His tone was vaguely regretful, but neither of his siblings were stirred in the slightest.

"Funny that you should say that," Leviathan smirked darkly. "When you have your mutts watching each and every one of us every second of the day."

Lucifer was unperturbed. He smiled benevolently at his previously-exiled little brother. "I cannot help it if I'm popular, Levi," he said pleasantly.

Leviathan snorted at that. Amon shifted uneasily in his war boots. Beelzebub took the opportunity to down Asmodeus' glass of red wine.

"Now sit, sit. We have a lot of catching up to do," Lucifer called out firmly. He waved his hands easily, and the finest dining table appeared before them, decorated deliciously with the finest dishes known to man.

His siblings did as they were told, albeit reluctantly. They'd all faced Lucifer's temper before. Neither of them wanted to be at the end of his pitch-fork ever again.

"So we've all been around for a pretty long time," Lucifer stated pleasantly. He'd taken his seat at the head of the table, his eyes flashing a luminescent purple as he spoke. "Tell me everything. How is the progress so far? How have you all been doing?"

"Here's a good place," Beelzebub offered nervously. His other siblings shifted in their seats uncomfortably. Beelzebub was the only one who had moved to touch the steaming hot buns in front of them. "The children here are receptive to us."

"Increasingly so," Mammon chimed in, determined not to lose out to his brother. "It gets easier with each passing generation."

"The more they gain, the less they're willing to lose," Amon agreed. He relished the words as they left his mouth, half-consciously twirling the golden ring around his middle finger. "And the more they're willing to fight."

"There are a lot of things that one may desire now," Leviathan drawled lightly. He glanced around at his brother's pristine abode for the hundredth time that night, his lips curling up in obvious envy.

"Works better when they're younger," Asmodeus purred. Her eyes never left Lucifer's face. It was a good thing that he remained perfectly oblivious. Another boost to his ego and his head would have expanded beyond than the mansion they were in.

"This is good," Lucifer said instead, his eyes clear and alight with life. He leaned back in his seat luxuriously, a look of effortless interest clouding his handsome face. "And how about you, brother? Belphegor," he called out, his tone slightly sharper at the lack of response.

Belphegor glanced up slowly from his knees. His eyes were cloudy and lifeless. His scrawny hands rested heavily on his own legs. If he had not spoken before this, more than one of his own siblings might have presumed him a corpse.

"I am good," Belphegor slurred calmly. He might have been annoyed at being forced to speak out, but being anything but carefree was just a little too much work for him. "More have succumbed to my ideals. I have halted the progress of a larger handful of economies," he reported dully.

Lucifer was pleased at his words. He had always been worried for his lifeless bum of a brother. It satisfied him greatly to see Belphegor working out in the open again. The rest of the siblings were likewise relieved, a rare occurrence for them indeed.

"Let us have some food. Why have we not begun?" Lucifer laughed lightly, graciously ignoring Beelzebub's empty plate. He waved his hand once, and even that was filled to the brim again. "Barbequed Loss? Buttered Ambition? Chilled Neglect?"

There was a sudden uncomfortable silence and the immediate scraping of cutlery. None of them took more than a single spoonful for themselves, spare Beelzebub and Mammon.

"I will have to take my leave soon. The rebellion is about to make it's move and I really must rally the opposing forces," Amon announced sheepishly. Lucifer allowed him a dark look, an action that was quick to force Amon's head back down.

"We've never really needed you here," Leviathan smirked cockily. His eyes were cold and full of disdain as he glanced casually at his black-eyed big brother. "Amon, always destroying all my precious assets and possessions. You leave me that much less to desire, my brother."

Amon's eyes flashed dangerous. Lucifer held out an angry hand before the challenge could escalate.

"Enough, Leviathan. We should all learn to co-exist," Lucifer said coldly. Leviathan's smirk deepened.

"Tell me how, dearest big brother. How will lust fare in the face of war?" Leviathan chuckled. Asmodeus glanced up at the mention of her name, startled. Amon's expression darkened further. "And tell me how pride can exist when a man is forever envious?"

There was a broken silence. Asmodeus' eyes were widened in fear. Mammon and Beelzebub were silent in absolute disbelief. Amon merely grit his teeth angrily.

"You mock me now?" Lucifer said slowly. There was no more laughter in his voice. Danger rolled off him in waves. It was envy alone that equaled the contempt in the air.

"I am saying this is all a farce," Leviathan corrected cockily. He got to his feet quickly, his chair scraping back agaisnt the marble floor. "Neither of us here can co-exist. We may survive on separate planes. But none of us can ever hope to survive together if we all want the same thing."

"We should not have met," Amon snarled angrily, his own chair thrown backwards by the sheer force of his rage.

Asmodeus, Mammon and Beelzebub got to their feet unsteadily. Their glances darted between the faces of their kin anxiously. Belphegor glanced up from where he sat slouching over in his seat.

Lucifer laughed hollowly. The depth of his anger sent shivers down the spines of his younger siblings. Only Leviathan retained his own bitter mask, the side of his mouth pulling up into a nasty grin.

"You've made a mockery of me," Lucifer told him quietly. He laughed again, this time with increasing fury. "And we could have had one good night tonight, Levi."

"Enough with the illusion, dear brother. To harbor one of us is work enough. Dine with us all and you'll come to wish you were never alive," Leviathan sneered. Lucifer growled angrily, lunging forward in his absolute fury. The table set before them was split in the magnitude of his power.

Leviathan's eyes widened in immediate surprise. He took a step back and bared his teeth as he disappeared through the white doors. Asmodeus quickly side-stepped Lucifer, infinite worry spread across her beautiful features. She disappeared after her younger brother immediately, and was almost instantly shadowed by Amon and Mammon (who only just managed to grab some of Lucifer's finest silverware on his way out).

Beelzebub gingerly folded his own doggy bag under his arm and turned to go. He pat Lucifer nervously on the back, to which there was no response, and hurried his way out of the gigantic ivory mansion.

Belphegor got to his feet unsteadily. "I'm leaving," he rasped calmly. Lucifer watched his last kin leave his mansion before he let out a snarl and marched his way back to his room.

Family gatherings were always the bane of his existence. It was probably why he was attracted to the humans in the first place.

It was the greatest family meal they'd ever enjoyed.

//

Acknowledgements: dalig.deviantart.com